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THE BALANCED LIFE | Travelling solo—is it for you?

I s travelling solo in your future? If so, you’re on trend. Booking.com data shows that pre-pandemic, in 2019, 14 percent of travellers were planning a trip on their own.

Is travelling solo in your future? If so, you’re on trend. Booking.com data shows that pre-pandemic, in 2019, 14 percent of travellers were planning a trip on their own. In 2021 the figure nearly doubled to 23 percent, including 40 percent of 55-64 year olds.

Overseas Adventure Travel, an American travel conglomerate, reports that in 2019, 47 percent of their 60,000 travellers registered as solo, and of these, 85 percent were female.

Is a person who signs on for a Danube River cruise or a week at an all-inclusive Cuban resort without a partner travelling alone any more or less than the unaccompanied millennial backpacker deplaning in Nepal?

The industry says no—they all qualify as “solo” travelers. For some, simply being physically distant from partners and friends is travelling solo. For others, travelling requires emotional and cultural separation to feel truly alone.

My wife and I travelled together to rural France a few years ago. Her purpose was to attend a portraiture workshop by a well-known Dutch artist and instructor. Mine was to cycle in the same area. Each morning we left our rented cottage, she with paints and brushes headed to class, me on my bike eager to explore.

During the next eight or ten hours we were apart, her pursuing her passion, interacting with her art, the instructor, and her classmates. I cycled, seeking the perfect path, most authentic villages, and a divinely delicious bagel and coffee. Temporarily unencumbered by a companion, we experienced a short taste of solo travel each day.

Cycling from Cairo to Ethiopia with people I had never met before did categorize me as a genuine solo traveller. A commercial tour organizer transported my tent and minimum amount of luggage each day, arranged the locations we camped in each night, and offered breakfast, lunch and dinner if I chose to partake. My responsibility was to arrive at the predetermined camp location each night before dark. Whether I cycled alone or with another member of the tour, diverted from the suggested route, where I chose to explore each day, what locals I might interact with and how, was all entirely up to me. Comfort came in knowing that if I didn’t arrive by dark, someone would realize I was missing.

Travelling truly solo, arriving in a country with an unfamiliar culture, language and money, alone and unsupported, is the purest variant of solo travel.

Regardless of the version of solo travel you consider, the rewards will be many.

Self-discovery. Travel is about discovering places, people and environments new to us. Done right, solo travel encourages self-discovery too.

We learn what truly frightens us, how we will deal with those fears in the absence of traditional supports or someone to blame. When forced to make decisions and own the consequences in unexpected situations, we may discover an inner bravery that lay hidden beneath our comfortable everyday routines.

Solo travel obliges us to re-evaluate our limits, to test our physical and moral strength. When we are physically alone, with no one looking over our shoulder to guide or provoke us, will are actions be fair and generous to both ourselves and those we encounter?

We’re forced to realize our prejudices and adjust our world view as we engage and understand those of different cultures and faiths. Solo travellers learn to trust strangers more readily, to listen with an open mind, to appreciate diverse opinions, and to question their own understanding of the world and those in it. There is no one to reinforce our preconceived silos or share our pigeon holes. We must reflect and judge for ourselves.

Who and what is truly important, and not.

Time away from a partner or friend may strengthen or hurt relationships. Simply trusting and encouraging a partner to experience new places, people and cultures on their own indicates a strong and confident relationship. Time alone allows clear reflection on the importance of those close to us.

One quickly discovers that being alone doesn’t make one lonely. The security of loving family and friends provide comfort as easily from a distance as in proximity, and the strength derived from coping with independent travel nurtures acceptance and value of oneself.

The number of likes our posts garner may be gratifying, and the heads we turn with our expensive cars and lavish homes satisfying, but they will be of little value when we’re injured in Slovakia or have had our wallet and passport stolen in Cambodia.

Leaving our comfort zone

The concept of the “comfort zone” was defined by Judith Bardwick in her 1991 business management book, Danger in the Comfort Zone, as follows: “The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.”

Although there may be times this anxiety-neutral, risk-free condition is comforting, seldom is life more exhilarating, liberating and educating than when we purposely thrust ourselves beyond our comfort zone, letting a world full of fresh ideas and experiences wash over our minds and souls.

Solo travel also offers escape from our comfort zone via anonymity, allowing us to blend into situations and experiences that we would never risk inserting ourselves into if we were with a friend or group.

Meeting people and hearing their stories

Travelling with another person, or group, is the quickest way to shut out others, or have those you meet shut you out. We’re simply less approachable, less open, less vulnerable, less curious and less honest when we’re in a group. Full stop.

Your route is your own choice

This doesn’t refer only to pre-departure route choices, but also to those made in the minute. Deciding on a general route which includes multiple highlights designed to satisfy a couple or group requires compromise. Solo travelers needn’t compromise their personal travel style or goals. While on a trip, it is spontaneous route choices, the pivots necessary when new circumstances and opportunities unexpectedly arise that offer true freedom of route choice to solo travelers.

I pedaled alone along the coast of Kenmare Bay, a long, sheltered finger of Atlantic Ocean which pierces the heart of southwestern Ireland. The tide was out, exposing the bay’s scraggily green salt-water shores, alive with seals and sea eagles scavenging easy meals amongst exposed seaweed.

Four sea kayaks bobbed in the bay, their pilots enjoying the show from water level through binoculars. Because I was travelling solo, the choice to rent a kayak and stroke an ocean paddle off my bucket list was mine alone, with no need to consider potential consequences to any accompanying riders.

Improve confidence, self-reliance, independence and problem-solving

When travelling alone, whether in a neighbouring city, foreign country, or trekking somewhere remote, the buck stops with you — for better or worse. Solo travel can be confidence-inspiring even before you depart. Simply by deciding irrevocably that you’re going to go on your own, adopting an “I’ve got this” mindset, and doing all the required planning is hugely empowering.

Problem-solving and self-reliance come into play automatically as you navigate the unfamiliar territory. Making mistakes will test you, and surviving them will strengthen you.

Is travelling solo for you? Travelling alone needn’t preclude the fun of a holiday or vacation with partners or groups at other times, but don’t miss taking a life-affirming solo trip at least once.

   


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John Swart

About the Author: John Swart

After three decades co-owning various southern Ontario small businesses with his wife, Els, John Swart has enjoyed 15 years in retirement volunteering, bicycling the world, and feature writing.
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